Thursday, October 2, 2008

Listen to the words of a 14 year-old pregnant Nebraska girl legally abandoned

Nine years ago the first of the dump laws, then called “Baby Moses Laws” passed in Texas, signed into law by then Governor George W. Bush.

As the dumps laws in every state except Nebraska have dealt with infants (with varying age limits,) until now, the oldest of the legalized child abandonments dumped as infants would now be roughly age 9. Whether or not the kids themselves were made aware of their abandoned status likely varies, kid to kid.

But this past July, Nebraska’s child dump law went into effect, allowing the legalized abadonment of kids up to age 19. Thus for the first time, we now had teens being dumped.

Until now, abandoned kids have had no voice politically nor societally.

There have been adults, notably adoptees/Bastards (among others) who have spoken out again and again against legalized child abandonment. But the voices of those most directly affected have been notably absent, as there’s an 18 year lag between being abandoned and reaching the age of majority.

This is precisely the same lag we as adopted people have had to contend with in advocating on our own behalf.

The one crucially important detail has emerged from the Nebraska legalized child abandonment disaster is that by covering teen dumps, the legislation has in effect jumped a timeline.

We no longer have to wait long years before we first begin to hear the voices of those legally abandoned while they grow up. Instead we can for the first time, actually listen to the words of a kid legally abandoned under Nebraska’s legalized abandonment law. And listen we should, because kids such as this anonymous girl are in some ways the only genuine voice of expertise on legalized child abandonment laws. She herself has directly experienced the consequences of them.

On September 20th, a 14 year-old pregnant girl was legally abandoned by her mother (who does not speak English, but uses her other 8 year-old daughter as a translator) at Omaha’s Immanuel Hospital. In the wake of the abandonment, the girl has fortunately, been able to return to her home.

Her mother had said she did not want to abandon her, but felt helpless, desperate, and scared.

“I wanted to do what’s best for her.”

As I’ve pointed out repeatedly in these Nebraska posts, the profile of the person legally abandoning the kids is not someone wanting to abandon, nor relinquish all contact with these kids, instead these are people at the ends of their ropes, with nowhere else to turn, who tend to care very deeply about the kids and want help.

anon-14yr-old.jpg

In an interview she and her mother did with KMTV News, we finally hear the first person perspective of a kid who has been directly affected by the legalized abandonment laws. Speaking of her mother, the anonymous girl said:

“I thought I was not going to see her anymore. When I was there I was not happy. I was sad to be in there and not see my mom anymore.”

She continued:

“I don’t want anything to happen to kids like it happened to me,” the 14-year-old said.

(Be sure to see the video with the story, Mom Who Used Safe Haven for Teen Opens Up.)

Are Nebraska legislators listening?

Are State legislators nationally listening?

No kid wants to go through the ordeal of legalized abandonment. No kid should ever have to.

These laws are not good for kids, the very people they are supposedly being enacted on behalf of.

This girl was fortunate enough to be reunited with her family, an outcome both she and her mother wanted. But going through the legalized abandonment process is not soon to be forgotten, forgiven, nor ‘healed’. It’s an event this girl and her family will live with for the rest of their lives.

This is no less true for infants who are abandoned. But their voices are missing from these ‘debates’ over what do with the dump laws. If Nebraska pushes the age limit down to ‘infant’ all it does is join the rest of the nation in the long wait while these kids grow up.

Legislators will never have to deal directly with the consequences of the legislation they are passing, abandoned children will. They will be dealing with the consequences for the rest of their lives.

So in light of how unique this anonymous 14 year old’s words are, they bear repeating:

“I don’t want anything to happen to kids like it happened to me.”

The only questions that remain are is anyone listening and will anyone care?

***

As always, I personally, continue to advocate nothing less than full repeal of the legalized abandonment laws.

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